Valentine's Day Recap and February Life Update

I know that Valentine's Day has long passed, but I wanted to give you all a quick recap of what I wore and how I spent my day! Those closest to me know that Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays. I have always loved it regardless of if I was single or in a relationship. I love the colors, the decorations, and the day of appreciation for loved ones. This Valentine's Day, I wanted to go with a special look for my dinner:

 I have had this adorable dress in my closet for so long and I wanted to break it out again! I wore it with nude heels :)

Close up of dress plus Valentine's Day nails! I love having a "party nail" done each time I go to the nail salon. It's my go-to!

In my opinion, this is the best lotion for Valentine's Day. Such a light, feminine scent. 

I love Bath and Body Works candles!

Anthony was sick with some sort of virus and I had to take him to the ER on the Friday of Valentine's Day weekend, and he still wasn't feeling to well when we went to dinner on Sunday. Regardless, we still made it special at the restaurant we went to for last year's Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day.

Now for a February life update. I feel like I have so much to update you all on that I'm not sure where to begin. For starters, I went to see a psychiatrist for the first time at the beginning of the month and was officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). Hearing the news made me feel so much better, because things have been so hectic and crazy in the past few months and I needed an answer as to why I have been feeling the way I have. I have no problems or shame in admitting this on my blog because we all go through things in life and all have things that we go through to make us stronger people. I want to be more open about my anxiety because I would love to help people or give them any advice.

College is such a stressful time, and I feel so nervous in the fact that I don't know what my future holds. I still don't have a job secured yet and my mom and I have just put our Lake Barrington house up for sale. There are SO many changes that will be coming up, and I think that my lesson for these next few months is to find comfort in the discomfort and push through these uncertain times. It has been extremely hard for me lately, but I am going to accept this challenge because I want to get through this and not let anxiety and fear take my life over. I know that I am a great candidate and the right job will come to me at the right time.

I am currently working on positive self-talk and just loving myself over all. Feeling as anxious as I do, my self-esteem can be incredibly low at times and it is hard for me to accept compliments and say nice things about myself. I feel like I think of all of the things that are "wrong" with me instead of all of the things that are right. I know that this is a work in progress and it will take time and effort for me to start feeling more positive about myself. If anyone reading this is anxious or stressed, feel free to shoot me a message or send me a text. I am more than willing to listen and talk :)

I also want to start working on strengthening my relationships with my friends. I feel like my friend groups are shifting around so much this year and definitely will even more after graduation. Relationships may end but friends are always there, and I want to spend more time with them and let them know how much I appreciate them!

I hope you enjoyed my post! If someone is reading this and feels stressed, alone, or anxious, you are certainly not alone. We will all get through this together! :) Cheers to the month of love and friendship!

Grace

You Are Not a Failure

Those close to me know that within these past four months, I have suffered from some pretty bad anxiety. Ever since Cruiser passed away, I have felt so broken down. It feels difficult to write these words, as I don't really know what I am trying to say here. I guess that I am writing in the hopes that friends, family, and acquaintances who are feeling the same way as me might find a little peace or comfort knowing that they aren't the only ones who are feeling this way. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, but in the past few months, my writing has kind of stopped. So have a lot of things. 

I remember when I used to make an effort to look nice every single day. Makeup on, cute shoes, nice outfit. Dressing nice has always helped me feel better. Hello, I started this blog as a way to highlight the outfits I put together and how good they make me feel. But this semester, that all just stopped. I remember the very first day of school on January 11: I had picked out a grey cardigan, brown tank top, nice jeans, shoes, and a statement necklace to wear. I wore the outfit to my very first class and took it off shortly after, opting for more comfortable workout clothes for my cycling class. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, but after that first outfit on the very first day, I stopped trying. Every single day the past few weeks, my outfits have consisted of some kind of old sweatshirt found from my laundry bin, followed by a pair of yoga pants. No makeup, my hair either in a ratty ponytail or covering my face. I feel like that should have told me right then and there that something wasn't really quite right.

Despite taking two public relations capstone courses and three writing classes to finish off my minor, this semester hasn't had a terrible workload so far. However, I believe that an entirely different side of things is taking a toll on me. The job search has been rough and discouraging, my thoughts of having something lined up by now have been completely shattered. I have been riding a horse over winter break that I have grown very attached to and would love to lease, but I am still in school and do not have the funds to do so right now, so I have no idea if someone else will take him in the time being. I am feeling very disconnected from my sorority- a part of me just doesn't care because I just want to get out and graduate as soon as I can, but another part feels sad about how close I was to a lot more people last year and how things are so different this year. A lot of my other senior friends at school are off doing their own thing and some have already graduated. My best friend will be moving to Ohio in the summer to start her new job, and I have no idea how often I will get to see her. The anxiety I have been feeling inside seems to be on some sort of overload, so in order to make myself feel better, I try to make myself appear as put together as possible. Despite that, my illusion is starting to shatter. I find myself breaking down at the simplest of things and stressing myself out, along with the people closest to me trying to help. 

To top things off, I am sick with a sinus infection. This usually happens pretty badly once a year, around this time. I just hate being sick because I am out of commission; no school, and no working out. I feel like I can't do anything, and it makes me feel anxious. However, being home today, I have had a little more time to think about things. 

Why am I spending so much time at war with myself? Why? What is it accomplishing? 

What is trying to be perfect accomplishing? 

Not much of anything. Today, I have fully surrendered to the fact that I am sick. That half-marathon training will have to go on hold for a bit. I have surrendered to the fact that I may be feeling a little lost and anxious, but that is okay. I am not a failure for feeling how I do. No one is a failure for feeling sad, sick, or lost. 

College is a crazy time. We are making friends and losing them, navigating the ups and downs of dating life, getting our hearts broken, and figuring out who we are in the world. 

I have decided that instead of constantly putting myself down and hating on myself, I am going to practice self-compassion. This won't be easy, but I am already feel better. Along with self-compassion comes doing things that make yourself feel good and happy. Whether it is a certain snack, workout class, our outfit. Today, I took some cute shirts out of my closet and put them on my window box in preparation for taking them back to school. For the next few weeks, I am going to trade my sweatshirt and yoga pant combo (though nothing is wrong with wearing them!) in for my nice shirts and jeans.

It is time to start loving myself and feeling like myself again. 

Avocado Breakfast Toast

Hey everyone! So obviously it's January, which is the start fresh and get healthy month for most people. I always love new year's because it is time for a completely new beginning, and I love new beginnings and new chances to get things right. I think January is one of my favorite months because of those reasons. However, I do feel like people put way too much pressure on themselves once the new year hits, especially to eat healthy. It is hard to eat healthy in college all the time (especially in a dining hall or sorority house) and that is okay! I remember my old nutritionist told me to follow the 80/20 rule- if you eat good healthy 80% of the time, 20% of the time you can eat whatever you want! I love eating healthy foods but I also love chocolate, mac and cheese, eating out, and cookie dough. It truly is all about balance, so here is a super easy healthy breakfast you can try no matter where you live (sorority house, tiny apartment, dorm). You just need a toaster!

Spinach, Kale, and Avocado Whole Grain Toast 

I made this for breakfast today after a date night with my boyfriend that consisted of two different hot chocolate drinks and a huge slice of chocolate cake. Talk about the 80/20 rule..see, it's all about balance!

 What you'll need: 

1/2 avocado

2 slices of whole grain toast

1 banana (chopped and on a separate plate to enjoy)

Organic Girl Super Greens Mix

Kale

Trader Joe's Seasoned Kale Chips (crumbled up for taste) 

Put the two slices of whole grain toast in the toaster, and when they are done, cut an avocado in half and use one half to spread on the toast. Decorate your toast with kale chips crumbled on top (or salt, pepper, whatever you want!) along with two pieces of kale on top and spinach around the plate. It is an easy way to get greens in your diet and also helps you feel full for the rest of the day! 

Try it with some kale and cucumber water!

This breakfast (or even lunch!) is a great way to get your greens in and help you feel full and focused to conquer your day- whether it is a job interview, classes, or just a day of relaxing! Enjoy and let me know what you think :)

Grace <3

What's New- January 2016

Hey everyone! IT. HAS. BEEN. SO. LONG. I am extremely sorry for my lack of a blog post anywhere since this fall. Things started going slightly downhill for me as soon as Cruiser got sick. My last post was on September 17, and Cruiser passed away on October 1. When he left (even though I knew it was coming) my entire world shattered. When you get an animal (especially one as big as a horse) at an age as young as I was when I got Cruiser, you think that they are invincible and will be around forever. Cruiser's illness came at a complete surprise and progressed very quickly. It triggered so many memories for me: summers at my old barn with the gravel driveway and the beautiful track and outdoor arena- I can still smell the freshly cut summer grass and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin as Cruiser and I cantered down the long side of the track. Days were free of worry and stress of school, what other people thought, and finding a job. I was able to go to horse shows I wanted because I was so young and times were easier financially. So many childhood memories were brought back, which brought along lots of anxiety because I frequently found myself comparing my life to when I was a kid (sounds weird, but it happened). But as a kid, there is no stress at all, no worries about what so-and-so thinks of you and if you don't get an A on a certain test, your grade will drop. Things were so carefree, and Cruiser leaving reminded me that I was just stuck where I was: miserable, anxious, and constantly stressed out. He was the last animal that my mom and I had, one with such a funny and stand out personality, who loved licking Starbucks drinks out of my hand and always posed for pictures because he knew there was an iPhone in his face and knew exactly when I was sad. I think that I lost a part of me when he left.

Along with Cruiser passing away, school was brutal this past semester. I enrolled in a very difficult combination of classes with some difficult teachers and LOTS of writing, so whenever I had free time, the last thing I wanted to do was write (as bad as it sounds). I felt myself withdrawing from my sorority and had many bad nights, and I honestly think it took coming home for winter break to make myself feel better again. I had also broken my toe in the fall by stubbing it (who does that except for me) so I was unable to run until the very end of the semester, something that helps relax me and make me feel better. With that, Cruiser being gone, and a super stressful class load, I was in much need of a break. It really took being home for a full month being surrounded by my best friends and mom, trying to get back on track. I've learned that I can't fight the present, and I have to surrender to what is. I think I get anxious because I compare my life to what it used to be, even though in reality I wouldn't want to be that young again. Whenever I start worrying about the future (will I be able to go to a horse show again? What if I can't handle my class load at school?) I simply take a deep breath and remind myself to surrender to what is now and what will be. I want to go with the flow and let life unfold in front of me as it should. I have also started writing in my journal again which has helped me tremendously. So with all being said, I'm back to blogging (kind of). I don't want to make any promises to blog every week, because I know this semester will be super busy too with sorority events and finishing up school, but one of my goals in 2016 is to write more so I know you all will hear from me more frequently than before! More posts to come, I hope you all had a wonderful start to the new year! :)

     Grace <3

When Things Fall Apart

Pretty please with a cherry on top excuse my lack of posting this past month... life has been getting in the way of things a little more than I would like recently. As some of you who follow me on social media may know, my horse Cruiser has been having some serious stomach issues that might be linked to an intestinal cancer. This news hit me right in the middle of my sorority's recruitment week, which is obviously stressful enough as it is. During this time, everything went out the door for me. My hope and faith basically went out the door. We went to visit Cruiser he has lost a lot of weight, but seemed to be happy that we came to visit him. Bringing an apple for him seemed to help- he brightened up immediately after we gave it to him. I was glad that he seemed to be feeling better when we left, but it was very tough because I am treating each time I see him as if it is my last. I have big dreams for my equestrian life- and even though I have outgrown Cruiser and was riding other horses at the barn, the comfort and stability of having my own horse would be gone.

When it comes to things like this, a lot of people don't really understand. Unless they have had a special animal in their lives that they have lost, it is usually pretty hard to. People may question why someone is so sad because of "just an animal" but they are wrong to think this. Animals are such special creatures in our lives and have little personalities just like we do, loving us unconditionally and always being there for us. 

The past few weeks have definitely been rough. However, I don't want to make this post all sad. When things fall apart, new things come together, sometimes exactly when you least expect it. On Labor Day, I came back to school from visiting home to participate in preference round for my sorority. Out of all the things I probably wanted to, giving a speech and then talking to girls who I didn't even know was at the bottom of my list. I felt emotionally and physically drained, and I had no idea if the second I would open my mouth, I would burst into tears. I shouldn't have thought that the worst would happen though, because the day ended up going great. I felt confident reading my speech (twice!) and met two amazing girls, Taylor and Jodie (hi) who ended up going Phi Sigma Sigma. Talking to Taylor made me feel a lot better, she had just lost a family member as well and we were both talking about our trials throughout life. Even though Cruiser isn't gone, it was still nice to have someone to relate to. I am so happy that they joined this chapter and if I had let my sadness get to me and ended up staying home, who knows what would have happened. 

Taylor and I 

I had such strong support from my sisters, family, and boyfriend. When the barn came down to Peoria last weekend for a horse show, he tagged along with me and we had a great time. I was still sad, but I am so lucky to have someone who will always be there for me by my side no matter how I am feeling. 

Fashion has been a lifesaver for me these past few weeks. Taking the time to make up a creative outfit and wear it to class distracts my mind and makes me feel confident. Plus, it's that wonderfully awkward time between summer and fall, when the leaves are starting to change and pumpkin spice everything is running rampant, but it is still hot out and summer clothes need to be worn before it gets too cold. I recently downloaded the WhatRUWearing app, which is an interactive fashion app for your phone that lets you upload photos of your clothes, OOTDs, and selfies. You can share these photos on the app and showcase them to other users. It is ADDICTING! If any of you have an account on WRUW, you can follow me and see my outfits @xograceelle with my pictures being uploaded in the Illinois location. I will definitely be using this app more to keep track of my daily outfits!

I am also currently obsessed with with We Heart It, a website and app that is similar to Pinterest. I think We Heart It is a little more cutesy, and I love all of the colorful, inspirational photos that there are and putting them into little collection albums. Check it out and let me know what you think! You can find my profile at http://weheartit.com/xxgracieoh :) 

I should be doing homework...

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me the past few weeks, it means so much to me and I am very grateful :)

                                                                     XO, 

                                                        

                                                                  Grace Elle 

Country Chic

Hey everyone! Even though my internship with CollegeFashionista is over, I still want to show you all the cute and fun outfits that my friends and I wear on campus. I am one of those people (despite how confused it makes my friends) who likes to dress up for class. I can look like a complete bum at any other time in the day, whether out shopping, getting groceries, or lounging around at home, but the second I have class, I put everything into my outfit. I feel more confident in class when I put more thought into my outfit and this confidence helps me participate more in class and feel better. I've read this a few times...they say that if you show up to class dressed up, you are more likely to perform better during a test than if you showed up in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Dressing in comfy clothes is nice and sometimes so necessary during finals week, but it also gives you the impression of a more casual environment and you are more likely to take things less seriously.

I love this look! The dress is light, flowy and sips on easily. It helps even out any figure and has adorable cutouts in the back. I especially love the cute pattern which makes me feel like I'm walking through a field of flowers even though I'm just walking to class. 

Dress: American Eagle Outfitters 

A watch adds some seriousness to the look as well as major style points.

Watch: Francesca's 

Cute boots add a little bit more edge to an otherwise girly look. They are also so comfortable and easy to walk in!

Boots: From DSW, made by Rock & Candy 

For some finishing touches, I wore my glasses and created a mini braid in my hair to tie the look together and stand out from the crowd even further. 

This is a very versatile outfit that can take you from class to dinner with friends! You can also carry this summery look well into the beginning of fall by wearing a cardigan over the dress when the weather gets chilly. With a look like this, the quad will feel like your runway and you will forget that you are even in class! Well wait, maybe not...

                                                         XO, 

                                                          Grace Elle  

College Fashionista 2015 Internship at a Glance

I can't believe that my time as a Summer Style Guru Intern for CollegeFashionista is finished! I applied for the internship because I thought it would be a fun way to practice my writing and experience the pressure of a weekly deadline like HerCampus did. In fact, a lot of the girls in my chapter of HerCampus actually wrote for CollegeFashionista as well. One of my friends, the mega stylish Liz Zee (shout out to you babe!) used me for one of her shoots and encouraged me to apply. I used her for my application shoot, wrote my sample article and turned it in. I was super excited to have an opportunity to do some fashion writing! I was so excited when I found out I had gotten accepted.

CollegeFashionista helped me appreciate a good outfit even more and what it can do for your self-esteem. Even though I am required to wear letters until next weekend, I have constantly been trying to find ways to look dressy and fun. I have CollegeFashionista to thank for that.

Here are some of my favorite outfits that I reported on in my time as a Style Guru, hopefully you can all take away a piece of inspiration from some of these outfits!

I loved starting out the summer season in this outfit! A simple light blue dress, a statement necklace, and brown or nude wedges are all you need to feel on trend and comfortable!

Take a cue from Natalie and rock a light, flowy sundress before it starts getting cold!

This outfit is perfect for a transition into fall. Cute "coffee shop casual" weekend wear for just lounging around or doing homework!

Sam rocks an adorable and comfortable cardigan with a floral top and adorable boots! Perfect for Fall!

I loved wearing this dress :)

I love this look- a plaid shirt and vans add some edge to a girly lace dress

I love the pattern in this floral kimono!

Have a Sorority event? A simple black dress and gold statement necklace add polish.

Do I have a stylish boyfriend, or do I have a stylish boyfriend...

A french braid is perfect for a long day of class or work!

...And the new Baby Lips Gloss is perfect for any occasion. 

Having a watch will add a style upgrade to any outfit!

Colorful floral patterns instantly summer-fy your look!

Cute lace up booties make the world go round!

Fashionista Erica looks adorable for a date!

I had so much fun photographing and writing about these trends! If you want to take a look at these outfits in more detail, click the "CollegeFashionista" tab above or use this link: 

http://www.collegefashionista.com/author/grace_obrien/ 

If you would like to become a Style Guru for CollegeFashionista, use this link: 

http://www.collegefashionista.com/apply/

I would like to thank Sarah Darrow, Amy Levin and Sammy Walsh for this incredible internship opportunity and the awesome feedback! And a very special shout out to all of my fabulous Fashionistas/os that let me photograph them! <3 Cheers!

                                                                    XO,

                                                                        Grace Elle